Fight for Everything
by Adandali
Summary: Set after the fight about David Fox. to be continued


There was no hint of his feelings in anything between them. Back to normal was an understatement. They really were back to normal.

Harvey was pissed at her. He knew she did the right thing, and he was proud of her in a weird way, but he was not happy about what he had to deal with. David Fox. Why this name made him so uncomfortable he could not make out. The guy was a douche, that's true, but what the hell, he's been dealing with worse than that.

With this case, he got to know his new client and turns out David even earned his respect, but he still felt uneasy around him, especially now that he frequented Donna's office.

Donna… he was thinking about her and the way he treated her during first encounter with David Fox. Did she forgive him? Probably, since they were "back to normal" on this as well or whatever that means. But he was uneasy, he knew he hurt her, belittled her and he needed to show her just how much he valued her and her contribution to the firm. He snapped his head knowing that those thoughts were too formal even in his head.

He decided to invite her to dinner, to apologize properly and put this behind them. He went to her office, with his signature charm hoping this would go smoothly.

"Hey" he said straddling in.

She looked up from her desk straight into his eyes, her hair falling on her shoulder and his breathing suddenly tensed. He was nervous, but he did not know why. It was simple dinner, a gesture to say how sorry he was. She did not even seem mad.

"Hey," she said with a worm smile.

"I wanted to apologize properly for what I did and thought I could ask you out for a dinner tonight and grovel until you forgive me"

"Apologize for what?" she said with unknowing tone and he knew damn well it meant she was mad.

"You know what," he said with his signature smirk facing her as she stood from her chair.

He knew what was coming next. She would say she did not, and then he would have to grovel and say for what he was sorry and that he did not mean it. They would go to dinner, would flirt and have fun. At the end, he would still tell her in his all seriousness that she deserved everything and he was a jackass for ever taking credit for her accomplishments. They would hug (in best-case scenario) and get back to normal. May be he would even buy her Birkin beg which you can't have too many as she used to say…

But, his thoughts were interrupted by donna's response which did not quite fit the scenario he was playing in his head.

"Yes, Harvey I do know what you are sorry about and I am not interested in hearing your apologies. Don't get me the wrong way. I know you are sorry for hurting me, but you were right in a way. Yes, I am here, because you gave me the opportunity. In any other firm, I might not had a chance to even make the buy in of 500 K, but that does not mean I was not fit for this job when I asked for it. And it sure as hell does not mean that you can treat me like your inferior. So, I don't need your apology, what I need is you showing me that you are taking me and my decisions seriously, like Robert does for instance".

What did you just say to me? Said Harvey with rising anger in his voice. So Robert takes you seriously and I don't? You have to have a nerve to say that, because Donna, you are the one person I trust my life with.

"I know Harvey, but that is not the same as trusting my business decisions"

"Donna, I came to you about mike when I wanted to make him a senior partner, I listened to you about stepping down from Managing Partner. If that does not scream how much I respect and trust you and your any judgment, than I do not know what does. Those words during a heated discussion does not mean a thing and you know it."

"I don't know Harvey, she said with a defeated tone and hurt. All I know is that I constantly have to prove and remind everyone outside this firm that I deserve to be where I am and it is my fucking accomplishment that I am a COO of this firm. I have proven with work, numbers and everything there is to prove, but I keep stumbling at the same remarks and it does get to me when those remarks are coming from you".

Harvey stepped closer to her, taking her by her arms, looking into her eyes.

"Donna, you deserve everything you have. I think that you are the most talented, extraordinary women. Without you, this firm would go to pieces and so would I. I have already gone to pieces when you left me. Do not ever doubt it. With that, he went in and hugged her. "I am sorry Donna, for hurting you, for not sticking for you the way you deserve it."

Thank you Harvey, she said as if in a whisper.

…And just like that, the scenario Harvey had in mind was back on track.

They stood like this for couple of seconds. With Harvey Donna could be both strong and vulnerable all at the same time. She was not afraid to be real with him.

In few seconds, she freed herself from his embrace, collected herself and smiled. Well so much for not wishing to hear your apology. You said it anyway, she said with a smile.

Well how about we go for dinner tonight and I make up for not listening to you? He sad also with a smile and a flirting tone

"As much as I would like to continue with this all so fun conversation over dinner, I cannot."

"Why not? We can go later if you are busy until late. You still need to eat don't you?" He was pushing now. He needed to make sure they were back to this vague "Normal".

"I have a date tonight Harvey… With David Fox."

Harvey was blindsided with this. It did not even cross his mind that Donna could have a date and let alone with David Fox. Now he could put his mind to why he did not like the guy. He felt what his mind did not want to even think about.

After that date he saw huge bucket of roses delivered to Donna at work by the man himself.

Another week passed and the flowers did not stop coming and neither did David Fox. He was bothered as they called it, but he did not consider this serious. Donna could not be serious about that guy?!

That was until he saw her laughing while he kissed her on the chick handing her another bucket of flowers. That actually put everything into perspective. He was losing Donna in a way he did not want to imagine, ever. Suddenly he felt panic rising up. He barely made it to the toilet. He made an appointment with Dr. Lipchitz and took the rest of the day off.

"Hi Stan, thanks for letting me come on such a short notice. I had a panic attack today and I need help."

"is it the first time you are experiencing panic attacks?"

"No, I had them over a year and a half ago."

"I, see. Do you know what triggered the attack now and then?"

"Donna… although when I was in therapy the last time we came up that it was more than Donna, it was my abandonment issues that was the reason, I thought I made peace with that."

"May I ask who Donna is?"

Though the question seemed so simple, he struggled with the answer.

"Donna is … Donna he said with a sigh."

"is she your girlfriend?"

"No" said Harvey with tilting a head.

"You love her?"

"no… I mean yes… but not the way you think"

"and how do I think Harvey?"

"You think I am attracted to her"

"are you?"

"Yes and No. do I find her attractive? Yes. Do I want to sleep with her? No, because it would ruin what we have and it is the most important relationship in my life. "

Harvey knew he sounded weird and did hardly make any sense. So he decided to tell in a simple way what connection he has with Donna.

"Donna was my secretary for 12 years, and then she left and went to work for Louise. That is when my first attacks started. It was a difficult time for me. I trusted her. I never thought she would leave, let alone for Louise.

"Why did she leave?"

"She messed up with a case and she was threatened with criminal charges. She was guilty, but we've managed to win. I told her I loved her the night we won."

"Did you?"

"Did I what?"

"Love her"

"Yes, of course I did".

"Then what happened"

"She left to work for Louise".

"Why? Because she did not feel the same way?"

"No he whispered, because I kind of implied I said those words because of pity."

"Did you?"

"Pity her? Of course not. I love her"

"But not in a romantic way.

"Exactly"

"So how do you love her Harvey, could you explain to me?"

Again, that dreaded question.

"How do you want me to describe it?" Harvey was already pissed. He spent half an hour talking about Donna and his feelings for her.

"She is my friend; I can't imagine my life without her. I trust her with my life. I would do anything for her. When my girlfriend asked to choose between her and Donna and Donna left a resignation letter on my desk, panic took over. It all made sense. I could never choose Paula over her. Therefore, I got Donna back.

"I know, when you say it out loud it sounds weird."

"Why do you think it sounds weird?"

"Because I chose my secretary, now COO over my girlfriend. You do not understand what Donna means to me. We have history. We are friends."

"I never said it was weird Harvey, you think it's weird. "

"Yes, you might not say it, but you think that."

"Harvey why did your panic attacks start now?"

"Because Donna started dating a guy, David Fox. And I don't know when I saw her smiling with him it just happened."

"You feel threatened by David Fox?"

"Threatened? No. I am just worried about her. I think Donna deserves better than him".

"That is not for you to decide".

"I am her friend, I don't want her to get hurt." Even when he said that he knew this was a lie.

"Is that all Harvey? You have panic attacks and you mentioned abandonment issues. I think you are threatened she will leave you."

"What if she does?"

"Harvey, why would she leave you because of the romantic relationship with another man?"

"Because what we have, is more than work or normal friendship… and I know if she has to choose between me and David she will chose him."

"Why do you think that?"

"Because she said she did not feel anything when she kissed me."

"Wait, let's go back. When did Donna kiss you? Now even Stan was confused.

"When I was with Paula. Let me tell you from the beginning.

"Harvey, I can see this is a very complicated relationship that goes beyond what can be a simple friendship and sense of Loyalty. I am afraid we will have to schedule another session, because our time is over today. However, what I can tell you Harvey is that you assume things that have not happened and might not happen at all. You assume what people will do. You chose Donna over your girlfriend. I Think even Donna would not assume this, if she left a resignation letter on your desk. That was a big decision that did not get as much credit as you might have imagined Harvey, whether you admit that or not".

Harvey scheduled another session with Stan the next day.

In the morning when he arrived at work, Donna greeted him at the elevator. When he looked at her, he was suddenly at loss for words. He did not know what to say to her. He was angry and pissed and yet he had no right to be pissed.

"Harvey, I wanted to talk to you, before you go into work and meetings".

"About?"

"About my relationship with David Fox, I know he is your client and I don't want this to become a thing".

"I have to go, I have a meeting with Robert, I can't think about you and David Fox right now."

The truth was, that was all he was thinking about the whole night before and today was no exception. The day already was promising.

Donna was off put by Harvey's remark, but she knew she had to give him time to process everything. When he was ready, he would come to her. Although Donna knew, Harvey was bothered by the news she could not let her mind wonder why.

It was evening already and Donna passed Harvey's office before heading home, but he was not there. It somehow got to her, seeing Harvey's empty office. She could sense something was off. She wondered where he was. Wondering about Harvey got her really "wondering" about Harvey. What was she doing? How could she get here? He occupied parts of her life, mind, and heart that could not be explained or it could she just refused to go there. Well to be fair, she went there and... She kissed him… and boy that was an answer, rejection, win that felt like losing.

Harvey was back with Stan. He wanted to get this thing done. As if that was easy. He wanted answers and he wanted them now.

"So, how are you feeling today?"

"Not so good Stan, I saw Donna this morning, she wanted to talk about her relationship with David Fox and I just could not. All I wanted to do was run… thank god, there was no panic attack involved this time".

"Harvey, why do you think you feel that way?"

"Because I don't want Donna dating that guy."

"Why is that?"

"He is a douche, of all people why would she date him?"

"What is so wrong about him?"

Harvey felt defeated when he realized what bothered him the whole time.

"Nothing, I just think this could be serious…he makes her smile".

"I thought as a friend you should be happy. What are you afraid of? Do you think this will change what you and Donna have? Or you think she will leave the job?"

"I don't know, the truth is I want her to be happy, all I want is her to be happy, but … when I think about it, I know it is selfish, but I want to make her happy.

"Harvey when you said Donna kissed you; can you please tell me what happened?"

"Out of the blue Donna just kissed me. Then said she just had to know and left. I was with Paula at the time. I got mad about what happened.

"What did you get mad about?"

"That she kissed me while I was in relationship. She knows how I feel about fidelity but she did it anyway.

"What does the kiss has to do with fidelity. The fact that you felt like you have cheated that is what makes it a fidelity theme. Tell me Harvey, what did you feel when she kissed you? What would you tell her if you were there right now?"

Harvey sighed. He closed his eyes trying to go back in time, reliving the kiss. Suddenly emotions came flooding in.

"I felt surprised, but when I came to my senses it was over".

"If she hadn't walked away, what would you tell her?"

Harvey closed his eyes and with a little pause just mumbled. "Nothing, I would just kiss her and then again… and then you know the drill doc."

"Interesting… so what is stopping you to do that right now?"

"Stan, it's complicated, we work together, and we are friends…"

"Those are excuses…what's really going on here?"

"She does not feel the same way."

"How do you know?"

"She said so… when we were arguing about what she did and the position she put me, she said that what she thought could be there was not."

"Harvey, people get defensive when they are threatened. Look at you for instance, you are so afraid to be rejected that you do not even try. It is hard to open your heart. You were not mad at Donna for the kiss, rather you felt guilty about it, but she does not know that.

"What are you getting at Stan? Harvey asked exasperated."

"Harvey, I am not saying Donna has feelings for you. All I am saying is that, you can never really move on until you put yourself out there. Now I want to get back to the moment you chose Donna over your girlfriend. How do you feel about it?"

"What do you mean?"

"Do you regret choosing Donna, now that she is dating another man?"

"No" he said almost instantly. "Donna is my everything…

"Well Harvey, in that case I am sure, no matter how your discussion goes, you will find a way to keep her in your life… so you might as well fight fr her instead of just keeping her at a safe distance."

Harvey smiled at that. He was right. He was in control and he refused to see it. Whatever happened he would always find way to get her back. He never took no for an answer except when it was about her.

"Thank you Stan."

"Hope it works out Harvey."

Harvey was tired, but he could not wait to see her.

Donna heard familiar knocks at the door. She knew it was Harvey.

"Is everything ok? She said opening the door."

"Are you alone?" Asked Harvey, not taking his eyes of her.

Yes, what is it? come on in.

I want to talk about what you said today, about David Fox.

Ok, do you want to have a sit, can I get you anything?

No, I am good.

"Ok, so what is it?"

"Donna, I am not ok with you dating David Fox and the reason is not his attachment to the firm, but my feelings for you.

Donna did not know how to react. Now she was blindsided. She just looked at him as he stood there. He had a tired look, but his eyes were on fire. He was a man on a mission.

"I know I don't have any right to say this, but Donna, you once said I don't fight for what is in here, he placed his hands to his hearts. Well this is I fighting.

There is another knock at the door and David Fox steps in.

"Hi Harvey, did not expect to see you here"

Donna felt very uneasy at this encounter now that Harvey was confessing his love for her. She felt like a cheating wife caught by a husband.

"Hi David, said Harvey with a calm tone. I needed to talk to Donna.

"I hope I am not interrupting. Is everything ok at the firm?"

"Everything is fine and you are not interrupting anything said Donna nervously. Harvey just wanted to talk about something, but it can wait."

"You know what, I think you deserve to be in this conversation said Harvey confidence. I was just telling Donna that I am in love with her. I do not want to hide anything from you David. As much as I hate to be in this situation, I simply cannot not be here. That is all I have to say. Have a good night". With that, he left.


End file.
